This is going to be hard for me to write about and I’ve been
putting it off for almost a month now and I’m at a point where I simply MUST do
it. It’s a good news/bad news type of
thing.
The end of April my Step Mom went in for a simple
surgery. This simple procedure should
have taken about an hour, ended up taking 4 hours because of a discovery of
cancer and a life changing diagnosis. I
won’t go into deep detail, simply because it’s not my story to tell.
She is now looking at chemo, pills, radiation, scans, and
multiple doctors’ visits. Both her and
my Dad had planned on being our babysitters while we took our trip to
Alaska.
As you might have figured out they will be fighting a big
battle and I have opted to stay behind and fight with them. This Alaska trip is only possible for a small
window.
Yes I am sad I’m not going.
Yes I am disappointed. I found a quote from Lena Horn that made me stop and remember a few things about life; It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
Since I have made this decision I haven’t regretted it. Not one bit and not for one second.
Both my Dad and Step Mom will need help with this journey
and battle that we are about to fight and in the beginning they will need all
the support they can get.
So the bad news is that I am not going to Alaska.
The good news is that her prognosis looks good and her
doctor is optimistic that she will win this fight. The other bit of good news is that I have
persuaded Ed to go. This has been his
baby from the get go and he has dreamed, ate, slept this trip. Initially he said “Nope. No way. I’m staying too.” I had to spend lots and lots and LOTS of time
persuading him that he needs this trip.
He needs to go.
So while I won’t be his co-rider and I won’t get to have
this adventure he will be there and I have told him to keep us all up to date
on his trip.
So friends I plan to help carry this load, and help be a strong back to those I love. I will be a good daughter and help carry the burden of this fight. I will also be a good wife and send my husband on the adventure of his dreams. And I will keep the words of Helen Keller in my mind; "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow."
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ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that this has happened, but I always wondered if, when the time came, I could be the daughter I wanted to be to my parents. When my Mom contracted lung cancer, most of the burden fell to me to take care of her, my Dad (who had Alzheimer's) and my own family. My husband was a Godsend, stepping right up and taking on half my burden. In the end, I was grateful that I had a chance to prove to myself that I was a 'good' daughter; that I did not shirk my duty to return to my parents the love and care they had given to me over the years. Was I happy while doing it? No, it was hard and I cried constantly when I was alone for what I was losing and what it was costing my own family, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It taught me more about myself than I thought I'd ever know. I now know that I am faithful and steadfast to those I love.
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